New Moon Karaoke
by LindaRoo
Summary: The plot of New Moon set to the tune of Bye Bye Miss American Pie by Don McLean.


**JUST FOR FUN**

For anyone here who doesn't want to re-read New Moon before Eclipse comes out, but still needs to brush up on what has taken place up till now:

1) Go to your local bar/pub on karaoke night.  
2) Request the song "Bye Bye Miss American Pie" by Don McLean  
3)Sing the following lyrics instead of the real ones  
4)Duck when the audience (who has no clue what your singing about) throws tomatoes at you.

Not so long ago...  
In the year two thousand six  
Bella had a crazy dream  
She'd gotten wrinkled, gray, and old  
While Edward was still young and cold  
It was so weird, she woke up with a scream

But the vampire refused to change her  
He wanted her human…and even stranger  
He said that when she died  
He would commit suicide

The birthday was a total mess  
A paper cut caused much distress  
Jasper's thirst failed the test  
That's when the readers cried

So bye-bye, Mister Vampire Guy.  
You left with a kiss, we sure will miss  
Your dizzying sighs  
You've made your choice, this is the final goodbye  
We'll miss your gorgeous smoldering eyes  
We'll miss your gorgeous smoldering eyes

Bella wallowed in some emo grief  
Racked with the impossible belief  
That he never loved her much at all  
The boy just wouldn't write or call  
She stayed numb all throughout the fall  
And cried as she curled up in a ball

She acted really zombified  
The nightmares got her terrified  
She alienated her friends  
Charlie was at his wit's end

She went to a flick in Jessica's car  
And met some weird guys in a bar  
Heard Edward's voice from off afar  
That's when the readers cried.

So bye-bye, Mister Vampire Guy.  
You left with a kiss, we sure will miss  
Your dizzying sighs  
You've made your choice, this is the final goodbye  
We'll miss your gorgeous smoldering eyes  
We'll miss your gorgeous smoldering eyes

She found if she made a stupid choice  
She could easily hear that silky voice  
She really needed to do something rash  
She took some bikes to a hot young guy  
Who fixed them up so they could fly  
She paid for them with some college cash

She met Jake's friends Embry and Quil  
Stayed for pasta and ate her fill  
She was making brand new friends  
But her troubles did not end  
Because she heard a tale next day at lunch  
'Bout a pack of wolves and had a hunch  
Sam Uley was behind that bunch  
That's when the readers sighed.

We were singing,  
Bye-bye, Mister Vampire Guy.  
You left with a kiss, we sure will miss  
Your dizzying sighs  
You've made your choice, this is the final goodbye  
We'll miss your gorgeous smoldering eyes  
We'll miss your gorgeous smoldering eyes

Her bond with Jake grew like a weed  
They rode motorcycles at dangerous speeds  
They looked for her meadow on a hike  
Had accidents on her motor bike  
Went to a movie show with Mike  
Who threw up much to her dislike

She finally admitted for heaven's sake  
That she really truly did like Jake  
But that's when he got sick  
Then didn't seem to care a lick  
Laurent met up with her in the field  
His evil nature was revealed  
Werewolves saved her from being his meal  
That's when the readers cried

We started singing,  
Bye-bye, Mister Vampire Guy.  
You left with a kiss, we sure will miss  
Your dizzying sighs  
You've made your choice, this is the final goodbye  
We'll miss your gorgeous smoldering eyes  
We'll miss your gorgeous smoldering eyes

She learned about the werewolves' ways  
Watched them get real mad and phase  
She and Jake were finally friends once more  
The pack left to hunt Victoria down  
She jumped off a cliff and nearly drown  
Came home and found Alice at her door

Edward made that fateful call  
And thought his girl died in that fall  
He flew to Italy  
To meet the Volturi  
He told Aro all about his strife  
Asked him if he'd take his life  
The day the readers cried

They were singing,  
Bye-bye, Mister Vampire Guy.  
You left with a kiss, we sure will miss  
Your dizzying sighs  
You've made your choice, this is the final goodbye  
We'll miss your gorgeous smoldering eyes  
We'll miss your gorgeous smoldering eyes

But Bella got there just in time  
The love between them was sublime  
Turns out Edward still really cared for her  
They met up with Felix and Jane  
Who took them to Aro through a drain  
Cause their presence had caused quite a stir

Marcus saw their love of course  
Tried to get the to join the guard by force  
But Alice had a vision and saved the day  
She saw that Bella would be changed  
Jane acted disappointed and deranged  
So Aro let them go and they drove away

She put her mortality to a vote  
Edward proposed and she said no  
Jake wouldn't return her calls  
She thought "They fight and Paris falls"  
The werewolf warning was not light  
A human's neck no vamp could bite  
If the treaty was broken then they would fight  
That's when the readers cried

And were were singing  
My, my Mister Vampire Guy  
August seven will be heaven  
But it's far out of sight  
We're counting down, we hope the days fly  
Eclipse will surely be a delight  
Eclipse will surely be a delight

And were were singing  
My, my Mister Vampire Guy  
August seven will be heaven  
But it's far out of sight  
We're counting down, we hope the days fly  
Eclipse will surely be a delight  
Eclipse will surely be a delight


End file.
